I’m a little late to it–as usual with my television viewing habits (I’m more of a reader and when I do watch TV, I have to confess it tends to be some sort of reality television), but this winter, in the midst of a few illnesses and some crummy winter weather, I discovered the show Somebody Somewhere on HBO. 

The show is just so good. I laughed and I cried. I fell in love with the characters and cheered them on. Somehow the show manages to be heartwarming and cute, as well as a little irreverent and crass all at the same time. 

The basic premise of the show follows Sam, who moved back to her hometown of Manhattan, Kansas, to care for her dying sister. Now in the wake of her sister’s death, we join Sam as she navigates the loss of her sister and finds her footing in her hometown.

The show touches on themes of grief, family and friendship, chosen family and community, the role of faith and church, and more. For a show with just three seasons and twenty-one episodes, it packs a lot in. There are so many meaningful moments that I can’t even begin to include them all here, but a few storylines, moments, and themes have stuck with me.

Much of the show revolves around Sam’s friendship with her best friend Joel. (I love a story focused on friendship, so much so that I wrote about it last year.) Initially just former high school classmates and current coworkers, the two become inseparable, and it’s through their friendship that they’re both able to find themselves.

Once Sam and Joel find each other, the show evolves into a story of community, chosen family, and finally finding the place you belong.

For example, early in their friendship, in season one, Joel invites Sam to “choir practice” at his church. Or at least Joel has told his church he needs to use the space for choir practice. Actually, there is no choir. Instead, it’s a home for misfits of all sorts–including many queer people–to come together and share art, music, and their lives. People can get up on stage and sing or tell a story or share a poem, all to the raucous support of those in attendance. It’s through “choir practice” that Joel and Sam forge their friendship and find their friend group and chosen family. 

And when Joel has a crisis of faith and leaves his church, Sam is there to support him. Joel feels the loss of his church acutely. But with Sam’s encouragement, they relocate choir practice to her family’s barn, and it turns into a wild night, culminating in their friends in the backseat of a party bus, Joel joyfully (and drunkenly) yelling, “This is church!!” And isn’t he right? One of my favorite scenes of the series. 

And that’s another thing I loved about the show–faith and spirituality are, in many ways, a central theme, but look different for many of the characters. Joel loves church, and with Sam’s encouragement, eventually finds his way back. Sam, on the other hand, is openly not into religion. Joel’s boyfriend also loves church–but he and Joel have different values when it comes to finding their church home and ultimately decide to attend separate churches. They all support each other, though, regardless of their different approaches to and experiences with faith.

I could go on and on about the things I love from the show. I haven’t even had time to talk about Sam’s complex relationship with her family, the exploration of their collective grief, her blossoming friendship with her sister, the ways the show explores the queer experience, especially in a place like the Midwest, or how the show made me laugh till I cried multiple times. All in all, it offers a heartwarming and hilarious meditation on what it means to be a friend and what it means to belong.