Hope Christian Reformed Church–a healthy mid-sized congregation in the southwest suburbs of Chicago–has begun the formal process of disaffiliating from the Christian Reformed Church of North America. Although we played by the rules, followed church order, and didn’t do anything wrong, there is no longer a place for us in the CRCNA.
It boils down to deacons, elders, and pastors at Hope not being able to live into the requirement that we annually sign the form of subscription “without reservation.” Adherence requires office bearers to suspend any unsettledness about all manner of questions–from baptism, to atonement, to the reach of salvation, to a footnote in the Heidelberg Catechism. Not signing means no voice or vote at Classis or Synod. There’s no room for reservations.
My church folks love our same-sex oriented siblings, children, grandchildren, and friends in a variety of ways. We recognize that faithful Christians can come to different understandings of complex questions. We have reservations.
We’re not woke. We’re not activists. We don’t have a policy or an affirming statement. We’re not crusading to do gay weddings. We’ve simply tried to welcome all who would be part of our fellowship. We’ve enfolded queer folks into our common life. We put belonging before belief, hospitality before certainty, and love before doctrine.
The church council voted unanimously to lead the congregation toward disaffiliation. In a non-binding poll, the congregation affirmed that decision by 93%. It was not a vote for gay marriage. it was the recognition that faithful Christians have long wrestled with scripture and come to different interpretations and understandings. We’re mindful that the church has always changed. We realize that both church and scripture have always been a multi-voiced, ongoing conversation. We have reservations about closing off that robust discussion.
Even though we’ve tried to hold the gospel of grace in Jesus Christ at the center, and we’re united in sacrament and mission without being uniform in thought, recent CRCNA Synods told us that wasn’t good enough, and a recent Classis meeting made it a reality.
Classis Chicago South received the disaffiliation decision as information, and pressed ahead with vigor. We didn’t expect anything different, but the experience was unsettling.
Classis gathered in a church fellowship hall. The three men running the show sat at a table facing the rest of us, who were seated in three long rows. The front row–stretching from one end of the room to other–was all men. The back rows were filled with women, children, and heretics.
That’s an overstatement. The back rows were actually filled with elderly church ladies who wouldn’t sign the form of subscription, retired Christian college professors and emeritized pastors. The back rows included young men and women and the representatives of two predominantly Black congregations who wouldn’t do as required. The cheap seats were filled with those who are disaffiliating. We could speak, but we couldn’t vote. We could be present, but not participate. And as all things were done efficiently and in good order, we could only watch as the men led the way.
It was probably just an unintentional aberration of social ordering and not reflective of reality. I’m sure it was more metaphorical than ecclesiological, but I can bear witness that those in the back felt like they were being pushed aside as the men took charge.
The decision to disaffiliate is heartrending. For more than 65 years, this church has supported and celebrated the ministries of the CRCNA. We’ve offered the very best of ourselves to the schools and institutions of our tradition. We’ve cherished the community and the conversations. We’ve joined in both service and struggle. We’ve loved and followed Jesus within this denomination–for many, it’s the only identity they’ve ever known. And yet, we’re leaving.
I’m the pastor of Hope Christian Reformed Church. I’ve wrestled with scripture and Christian culture for as long as I can remember. I have reservations about all manner of things. I have reservations about how best to love and serve our gay and lesbian friends. I understand how others read scripture and come to a settled, confessional place about marriage. I could be wrong even as I wonder if they’ve missed both the trajectory and breadth of God’s mercy. Again, reservations.
But if it comes down to with whom I’m going to stand, if it comes down to on which side I’d rather err, if it comes down to the front of the room or the back, I have no reservations.
50 Responses
Sadly, your journey of having to disaffiliate with the CRC is being repeated in many churches. I appreciate the grace with which you told your story. The denomination will not be made better by the loss of your church and others who struggle with Synod’s decisions this past summer. I, too, have been a part of this tradition since birth, but I fear the denomination has lost its way.
I don’t think your observation of the placement of the people in the back row of classis being intentional is an overstatement. It’s the heart of the problem today—we have been pushed to the margins, the back row without a vote or a legitimate voice. There is no seat at the table for the curious and questioning, even though, as you said, we followed the rules. And when seated in the back or on the sidelines, you can feel the power dynamic in your soul. There comes a point when there’s no denying it. My questions are now about spiritual abuse – what does spiritual abuse look like in the CRC? At synod? In classis meetings? In the local church and council room?
To clarify, I have questions about the spiritual abuse of power in the CRC (at synod, classis, council and church leadership levels).
Yes, questions – for just as there is political abuse of power in our land, so there’s spiritual abuse of power in the CRC.
The church in Ephesus (Revelation2) was commended for her attempt at holiness yet warned about her lack of love. Jesus said he will remove her lamp stand if they do not change. I am afraid we have a very vocal minority in the CRC that does not understand this strong reproof from Jesus.
Yes, but the church of Ephesus was also commended for not tolerating false teachers and hating the teaching of the Nicolaitans – which Jesus also hated. The text says quite plainly Jesus hates false teaching. That means we should be very confident and sure of what is or is not false teaching and hate it too – rather than allow under the guise of “wondering”. Isn’t it the height of arrogance and spiritual abuse to continue to “wonder” about something God has said plainly in HIs Word? That’s why church at Pergamum was warned about allowing false teaching in their midst. The church at Thyatira was so infected with false teaching and sexual immorality that there was no talk of taking away a lamp stand…. It’s obvious the church is sinking, Jesus just tells the faithful to “hold fast what you have until I come.” The church at Sardis is dead. Because that’s what happens when spiritual cancer is allowed to grow. I am afraid we have a very vocal minority in the CRC that does not understand this strong reproof from Jesus.
The phrase you are looking for is “loveless orthodoxy.” I’m thankful that Roger, Hope Church, and so many other pastors and congregations are escaping its grasp. Freedom cost but it sure is sweet.
They have healed the wound of my people lightly,
saying, ‘Peace, peace,’
when there is no peace.
~ Jeremiah 6:14
I’m not into proof texting, but if you insist, that describes abide perfectly. You all have caused nothing but chaos in the name of your self-righteous cause. Good pastors and good churches leaving will be your fruit. What a legacy!
Well said.
It’s so sad that those who are so very sure they’re right and thus rigid about what the
Bible says, they shut out any room for discussions about what it doesn’t say, and so miss the love and mercy of God flowing through different people. God’s love is large and it includes more than we can imagine.
Thank you Roger, our situation and reflection here at Bethany is in line with yours and Hope. Visiting Hope a few weeks ago and meeting you was a pleasure. T
Minus humility and intentionality every organization becomes an end unto itself. The epitome of arrogance is an organization that declares you need them more than they need you. Congratulations on courage and unity at the congregational level!
Very well said, Roger. Lots of us with you and yours.
Thank you Roger.
I’m a member of a church that will take its disaffiliation vote tomorrow. I’ve said from the beginning that, even after studying the issue deeply, I might be wrong. But if I’m wrong, I’d rather be on the side of Jesus’ welcome, of saying, “Come into our circle’ not of saying, “Stay on the out in the cold where you belong.”
Even as a child, I couldn’t square my questions with the absolutes of the leadership of my family’s CRC church – be an excellent student but only come up with this list of answers. Thank you for this thoughtful reflection.
The CRC, as a denomination, has broken a covenantal relationship with many of its members. Similarly, many former RCA members have broken their covenantal relationship with the denomination. It’s a long trail of broken promises.
Being an elder at Hope *CRC during much of the time of this struggle with classis and synod, I can attest to Roger’s statements here for RJ today. What’s incredible though is that this writing is just one of probably at least a dozen, on a similar theme, including letters to the congregation, statements to classis, at least 3 overtures to synod, and I’m sure pastoral conversations with others among classis and beyond, including via Better Together. All draining on intellect and soul—while still preaching and ministering to Hope, and Roseland and others. A labor of love and service, for which I and 100 % of Hope are grateful.
My heart is sad with all of you.
As a 78 year long member of the CRC, until recently the thought that I might not be buried from a CRC never occurred to me. Now my congregation and I are being excommunicated in about the same way as Hope and pastor Nelson. With them, we feel deep pain, sadness and loss.
At the same time, there is, rising within me and my congregation, a joyful sense of freedom and emancipation that is slowly outweighing the feelings of pain and loss. I hope that churches and members in this situation will not dwell too long in paralyzing pain and sadness, and will increasingly embrace the freedoms and opportunities that emancipation will provide for genuine Christ-like ministry.
Thanks for this. The irony of the “without reservation” is stark and spot-on. And you have not overstated at all—but have let light shine…
Roger, your words are so true. I was one of the “elderly church ladies who wouldn’t sign the form of subscription.” I sat in the back row with others who were feeling the judgment of those who were sitting toward the front . I felt the love of those who are now in the process of being ostracized by by those who were judging. I received hugs and other expressions of affirmation from grieving retired pastors, from other pastors who are grieved as well, and from other elders who are feeling the rejection. Although the church where I am a council member is not as far in the process as Hope Church is, I also felt the spiritual abuse that Roger writes about. I am not going to subject myself to that abuse any longer. This was my last classis meeting. I will continue to experience love and acceptance from my home church, and from Roger and other pastors who have rallied around and supported our fledgling and struggling congregation.
Thank you Roger! I sense pain and struggle in your words. These are difficult times for those of us trying to hold the Gospel message fast and at the same time not provide the world with another example of the church fractured and broken.
Just a few weeks ago, I was a part of a trip to Montgomery, AL, where a group of us, led by Arrabon, and paid for by the CICW gathered together to learn about barriers to being reconciling communities. During one of our sessions, it was brought up that predominantly white communities (most often) value efficiency and “good order” while communities of color (most often) value relationship…and relationships built on efficiency and good order tend to end up viewing relationship as a means to an end.
This is the problem we face in the (predominantly) White Dutch Church. It isn’t that efficient and good order aren’t good things, but when they are the _sole_ value, then anyone who might value anything else is seen as a roadblock to efficiency.
What you named in this article made me recognize the danger – not only in the “sin of certainty” (a la Pete Enns), but the sin of efficiency. Love isn’t efficient. After all, it was love that put Christ on the cross, and death *certainly* is not efficient.
Weeping with you and with all the others who have been swept away because you dared to name that doubt is a part of the life of faith and that relationships aren’t always efficient and “in good order.”
From,
A former CRC kid, whose childhood Church is in the same predicament as yours.
I argue Hope is woke, just like Jesus was and is still today, if you use this definition; “The term acquired political connotations by the 1970s and gained further popularity in the 2010s with the hashtag #staywoke. Over time, woke came to be used to refer to a broader awareness of social inequalities such as racial injustice, sexism, and denial of LGBTQ rights.” Key words: “broader awareness of social inequities”
I agree. Most Hope folks I know really are Woke.
Roger … well done! Thank You!
If the current leadership of the CRC had even a speck of humility, they would call for our remaining churches to hold a Sunday of lament for the fellowships and pastors they have forced out. I’m not holding my breath. Even though we are remaining because our fellowship has continued to make room for us, whenever someone (usually a friend or relative – not from our church) tells me that my eternal salvation is on the line because of my beliefs, I tell them that I will take my chances and go with the love of Christ.
If one cannot live with mystery, one soon learns to live with tyranny.
There is plenty of room to live with mystery in the CRC, but there is not room to cherish and promote sin (whether the sin of Kinism or the breaking of the Seventh Commandment).
Lloyd, you have no right to declare that disaffiliating members or churches are “cherishing or promoting sin”.
Like you at Hope CRC, we, too, are sad to leave those we have walked in faith with for generations. It’s almost unimaginable that our congregation which has been CRC for 168 years, since the beginning of the denomination, has now been told we must deny how the Spirit has been leading us and do as a certain few, who have maneuvered into power and questionable certainty, insist we do or not do. Although we are also sad for the CRC as she loses so many vibrant believers and thinkers, like the Hope congregation and many others, our congregation eagerly looks ahead, continuing to minister in Christ’s name with His energy and Spirit. He is our Lord and guide. We can joyfully follow Him into our next 168 years.
I’m so sorry, Roger. Thank you telling the story with a balance of grief and generosity. I’m grateful to learn you, your elders and congregation made this decision and how you made it. But its pretty heartbreaking to hear another story like this.
Rog, a word of gratitude for your post. And a word of welcome to the CRC diaspora, where, for a variety of reasons, a lot of us are trying to live out the best of the Reformed tradition outside the bounds of the institutions that shaped us. As someone who’s been learning for a long time from your preaching, writing, and friendship, I can attest that you’ll find good company here, on the margins, in the back row. Peace and love.
Thank you for this, Roger.
Separately, I hope that one day, members of the Abide Project clergy will stop trolling the comments section of the RJ and focus on their respective pastoral ministries. Dopamine addiction is real, and even ministers aren’t exempt.
In the provost’s office at Calvin University, there is a very large, very old ledger that contains the signatures of everyone who has been on the Calvin faculty. These are their “subscriptions” to the three confessions held by the Christian Reformed Church. On nearly every page, someone expresses a reservation. They hold to the confessions as conveying the true doctrines of the faith, but there is something in them that causes them concern, or about which they have doubts. The most common ones, as I recall, are predestination and infant baptism. To my knowledge, no one was ever given a deadline for resolving those reservations. They openly expressed these doubts as a matter of conscience, and were given the freedom to either resolve or live with these tensions. To me that seemed like the right approach. These were people who affirmed a large and comprehensive body of doctrine, belief, and practice, but honestly admitted that they weren’t sure about some part of it. “Lord, I believe. Help me in my unbelief.” If we are honest, who is there who doesn’t wonder about something in those confessional texts? So what is to be gained by insisting that an office holder in the church must hold to them in their entirety, without reservation? Only a large load of hypocrisy. But keeping up the appearance of perfect rectitude seems to be terribly important to the new power brokers in the CRC. I wonder why that is so.
Well said Joel and thanks for sharing that. My best professors at Calvin, many of whom are active in these RJ conversations, held doubt in high regard. Faith has a feature of mystery that some can deny, but that doesn’t make it any less real. Your comment reminds me of this line from Roger’s article, perhaps his best, “We put belonging before belief, hospitality before certainty, and love before doctrine.” The humility and love of that statement serves as a model for us all.
Pastors, churches and individuals commenting here admit they could be wrong about marriage and LGBTQ concerns but want to err on the side of love. But what about future pastors and congregants coming up through the churches and liberal seminaries in the futue? While you all are wondering and not certain about these issues, I’m pretty sure this future group will be certain. They will be certain that there is no need to talk about (preach) what the Bible actually says about marriage, intimacy and homosexuality. Love and acceptance of all beliefs is all that will be necessary.
I do have a question for all ministers leaving the CRC: What will you preach regarding marriage now? Will you leave this topic alone since it can be devisive or not accepted? Will children growing up in your churches in 20 years even hear the Bible’s instructions about marriage? Some of them might want to know.
Ahhhh, there they are . . . the words I was sure someone would post along the way: “what the Bible actually says.” As though there can be no uncertainty in interpretation regarding an issue about which, unless I’m mistaken, Jesus said absolutely nothing.
Such a beautiful well written article. Thank you and blessings to you and your church on the road ahead.
The member of Hope CRC have overwhelmingly served Classis Chicago South by educating and caring for it’s children for decades. So many members of Hope have sacrificed much to invest in the young people of Southwest Chicago Christian schools and Trinity Christian College. I am so grateful for this congregation and am grieved that Classis Chicago South was unable or unwilling to take a moment to recognize Hope’s unique contribution to the CRC in general and the classis in particular. I am grateful for the outsized impact this church has had on mine and husband’s life and the impact this church has made on our community at large. To accept your disaffiliation as information instead of suffering the pain of losing a member is abhorrent. Thank you Hope for standing on the side of love and inclusion.
Thank you for this testimony. A catholic friend of mine said to me fifty years ago, “You know that we are all sinners and heretics, don’t you?”
No one ever said that to me before.
“Sinners “. YES “Heretics?” Hmm
My friend was right. We all have limited knowledge and experience. We all skew truth until we meet the truth, Jesus with open arms of love for sinners and heretics. A smile of grace.
Keep smiling, friends.
Thanks for this thoughtful reflection.
Thanks Roger. You speak for so many of us. I also appreciate Gerritsma’s comment above about the smell of freedom and a hopeful future that is in the air. We have lived with but “managed” this toxic judgmentalism and moral superiority that has been baked into the DNA of the CRC since 1857. But enough is enough. There is a better way to be church. I’m more than ready to go for it.
I wish I understood why the conservative mindset is so gripped by fear and intolerance. The traditionalists in the CRC could have stopped in 2022 after winning the doctrinal argument on same-sex marriage by majority vote, but instead they went on to dishonestly discover an implicit meaning concealed within the words of the Heidelberg Catechism that the denomination supposedly had not noticed for more than a century and a half. No longer satisfied with issuing pastoral advice on the matter, they pretended their view had always had confessional status without anyone actually saying so. Then they spent a couple of synods barring people who disagree with them from holding church offices, so it would be forever impossible for anyone to overturn their dictates. We who reject the majority view have thus been permanently reduced to the second-class membership status that CRC women had from 1957 to the mid-1980s, and the synod of 2024 also told church councils to consider discipline for members who express public dissent. To top it all off, the general secretary is leading an investigation of whether individual dissidents should face further restrictions on membership. This is the behavior of culture warriors, inquisitors and ayatollahs, lacking the humility and grace one ought to expect from disciples and servants. When the Reformed Church split over this issue, it was because conservatives refused to stay if they couldn’t force everyone to do it their way. Conservatives in the CRC saw that and said to themselves, “We need to organize so we can be sure to win this fight, because we also can’t live with people who don’t think like us.”
Thank you Roger for your courage and your insight. You’ve spawned great comments. I don’t personally know that many same sex couples or LGBTQs but the ones I do know they don’t seem to be living in sin( biblically or scientifically). They seem to be struggling like the rest of us. Preach about marriage? Yes of course.the Bible has a lot to say. Gender? Not so much but we are still learning. The current leadership feels more like hypocrisy masquerading as confessional purity than the pursuit of truth or the Christian life. I have misunderstood many things but I’m ashamed to be part of that. Predestination? Infant baptism? Sexuality?How wise is it to die on any of those hills? We owe our children a better church and I hope we can create and maintain that.
Growing up in the CRC in the ’60s-’80s, I learned so much from the members of my congregation (usually older) who held outlier views that were contrary to the norm of confessions and custom. My piano teacher, also our church organist, sincerely believed in the rapture and warned me often that we might have our lessons “up there” someday soon (I was thrilled and more than a little nervous that she was absolutely certain I’d be raptured with her!) A catechism teacher–a farmer, salt-of-the-earth guy–fought in the Battle of the Bulge in WWII and thereafter became a conscientious objector to all manners of war, an unpopular position during both the Korean and Vietnam conflicts in our congregation. A family with two small children joined but were adamant about believer baptism for their kids. All of these people were tolerated, if not always affirmed. But I learned as a child and teen that Christians can hold varying views depending on their reading of Scripture, their Spirit-led experiences, and their childhood beliefs and raising. It was valuable to me and to many others. Forcing everyone to be in lock-step isn’t conducive to learning.
Thank you Roger for expressing what I am thinking and feeling. My congregation is not disaffilliating with the CRC, but I am. I am struck by the fact that we profess “one holy catholic church” but divide into smaller and smaller groups. I don’t have any answers, but I am pretty sure splitting up is not strengthening the church or advancing the gospel.
I spent four years at Calvin College from 1961-5 and graduated. Despite my reading and studying Calvin’s “Institutes of the Christian Religion”, I could never buy it. Later in graduate and medicals schools, immersing myself in science, I ultimately (after becoming Baptist, Methodist, Charismatic) chose the way of Servetus (remember “warmed by the Calvin spark”) and am now a secular humanist in a Unitarian Universalist Fellowship where many people share similar views. We accept all people, and not all our members are secular humanists. We have some Jewish, Zoroastrian and other faiths in our fellowship. I still can’t help reading about my Calvinist roots!