Maybe it’s because I’ve been trying to keep my eyes open for tiny good things, or maybe it’s because of random circumstance or the Holy Spirit, but I was filled with awe and joy to find Mark Hiskes’ poem “It’s About Us” featured on the Reformed Journal when I sat down to write a review for a book about belonging.
The beginning of the poem reads that us is:
an empathy pronoun,
replacing her and him and you
and it and, praise the Lord,
other. Like we, us is a two-letter
embrace so wide it includes anyone,
a helping hand so holy
it lifts the lifter too.
Sarah Westfall, in her book The Way of Belonging: Reimagining Who We Are and How We Relate (InterVarsity Press, 2024), similarly to Mark Hiskes in his poem, explores the idea of belonging not simply as an individual finding acceptance in a place or a group, but as Hiskes writes, “an embrace so wide it includes anyone”. In her book, Westfall asks questions about belonging through the lens of the story of the Prodigal Son. Using Henri Nouwen’s book The Return of the Prodigal Son, Westfall wonders which character she most identifies with but then realizes she needs to “reframe the question…from, ‘What does it look like to belong?’ to ‘How can I be a place of welcome?’ The shift altered my posture from me to we” (12). Like Hiskes’ poem,
Us
saves the best seat at the table
for any prodigal loved by none
but one, creating from nobody
somebody, from tight-fisted mine
a communal ours.
It’s this shift from me (or Hiskes’ her, him, you, and it) to being we or us–a place or person of welcome that saves the best seat at the table for others–that is where we find belonging. Westfall writes, “Belonging is not something to attain but someone to become. It is not about finding the right place or the right people but about embracing our worth as God’s beloved and then extending the welcome” (12).
Even though this is a recently published book (2024), the world–or at least the United States–is a very different place in 2025. And I couldn’t help but read this book through the lens of a new and different global and national political landscape. What does it mean to belong in a global and political climate that is more divided and divisive than ever? How do we move toward belonging when everything feels extreme? How do I find my own place of belonging while saving a seat at the table for those who are different from me, especially when it feels like there are vast gaps in what we believe? How do I become a person who unconditionally offers an embracing welcome?
In Part I of her book, Westfall explores “Who We Are” through an examination of the story of the Prodigal Son and the inherent welcome the father in the story extends to both sons. While both sons place their identities outside of the father–one “…lost himself in greed and sensual indulgence; the other buried himself in duty, diligence, and work” (16)–the father reserves a place at the table for both sons, reminding them that everything the father has is theirs. Westfall reminds us that our original belonging is with and to God (17), and God, like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, reserves a place at the table for us and offers us all that God has.
To the idea that we belong to God, Westfall explores how belonging is also about doing. She writes that “belonging is both being and doing, both who you are and what you carry with you. It is part essence and part movement” (45). In this, Westfall encourages her readers to not only know and accept our belonging to God but also to live into the fact that belonging isn’t where we stop. We are all becoming, changing, evolving, learning what it means to belong, and extending that welcome toward others. Because we belong to God, we are called to extend this to others.
In Part II of the book, “How We Relate”, Westfall delves deeper into what it means to belong and become. She does this by juxtaposing terms and ideas like Lack and Longing, Naming, Sameness, Story, Certainty and Settled, Curiosity, Authenticity and Transparency, Creators and Consumers, and Celebration. Each term or idea leads readers to a deeper understanding of belonging and challenges us to become vulnerable in our journey toward belonging. In this section, Westfall walks readers through the vulnerability and risk inherent in a journey toward belonging, exploring that while love is risky, “We are safe because we are held [by God]” (125).
While reading Part II, I couldn’t help but think about Ted Lasso, the main character in the popular Apple TV+ show of the same name, talking about being curious rather than judgmental. Westfall writes, “…while certainty shuts the door, curiosity props it open…[and] by keeping the door open, we position ourselves in welcome not only to possibility but to one another…. Curiosity fosters communion, she writes, and curiosity invites us to pay attention to and follow our questions. Curiosity releases us from certainty. And when we are released from certainty, we position ourselves in welcome to possibility in ourselves and in each other (113).
Westfall’s book is well worth the read. She encourages us to think more deeply about what it means to belong to God and what we might do and be because of this. It’s about being and becoming. This isn’t just a tiny good thing. It’s the reminder, reorientation, and call to action that we need today and always.
2 Responses
Thanks Kathryn. Skillful and intelligent weaving of Mark’s poem and Westfall’s book.
This quote from the book reminds me of our (my) recent experience with the CRC: “…while certainty shuts the door, curiosity props it open…[and] by keeping the door open, we position ourselves in welcome not only to possibility but to one another…. Curiosity fosters communion, she writes, and curiosity invites us to pay attention to and follow our questions. Curiosity releases us from certainty. And when we are released from certainty, we position ourselves in welcome to possibility in ourselves and in each other (113).”
May we all stay curious so that we can truly offer belonging and hospitality in our lives and our churches. That open seat at the table is so important.