Prayer of Confession, bridal version

 “Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against you 
in thought, word, and deed,
 by what we have done, 
and by what we have left undone.
 We have not loved you with our whole heart; 
we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. 
We are truly sorry and we humbly repent. 
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ, 
have mercy on us and forgive us;
 that we may delight in your will,
and walk in your ways, 
to the glory of your Name. Amen.” –Book of Common Prayer 

Dear Lord, I confess that after writing about the horrid wedding-industrial complex on The Twelve two weeks ago, I have engaged in hypocritical behaviors like spending a bit too much time on Etsy browsing for just the right bridesmaids’ gifts. And joining Pinterest. Yes, Pinterest. Help me Jesus.

I have entertained the idea of continuing to shop for cake and cupcake vendors just so that I could taste some more delicious samples. Save me from my sweet tooth.

I confess that after I lambasted the rampant consumerism of the wedding industry, I too was tempted by a Groupon offer for a photobooth rental. It would be so fun, right? And I confess that after reading Pious Petunia’s post this weekend, I doubted my ability to throw a party that could actually make my guests want to stay and dance instead of go home and mow the lawn or watch the game.

I confess my secret feelings of judgment against anyone who would pay $3,000 to have their wedding live-tweeted

I confess my not-so-secret feelings of judgment aimed at the lady here in Tennessee who attached her baby to the train of her wedding dress. Please Lord, do not let this become a trend. 

I confess that I do not understand certain Southern wedding customs. I am a Northerner after all. Forgive me if I sounded obnoxious when a sweet old lady asked me if I’d had my bridal portrait made yet. And perhaps I was too cavalier in my dismissal of the idea that we really should have a groom’s cake. She seemed concerned.

And dear Lord, forgive me for the looks that have crossed my face when people say things to me like, “You should go to [such and such bridal gown store] because all of their dresses are under $2,500!!!” Forgive the lady in the other store where I was looking at embellished sashes; she had such a smirk on her face when she said that they started at $600, and that their dresses ranged from $3,200 to $13,500 (and she used the word modest!!!).

Also, please forgive me my terrible puns, and forgive my fiancé for rolling his eyes at them. I still think the idea of a horse-themed bridle shower is hilarious.

With contrite heart, Amen.

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