Navigating the Complexities and Compassion of Abortion

Navigating the Complexities and Compassion of Abortion
in Hannah Matthews’
You or Someone You Love




To say my views on abortion have evolved over the years would be an understatement.

I was raised going to a Christian school where it went unquestioned that you should oppose abortion. I worked for a pro-life nonprofit for a year after graduating college. I studied the antiabortion movement in grad school. Over the course of all of this, I found my views on abortion shifting as I learned and read and experienced more to a point where I now fully support reproductive rights.

So if you told me ten years ago I’d spend my weekend reading a compassionate book about the necessity of abortion and other reproductive healthcare written by an abortion doula and that I’d be deeply moved by her account, I wouldn’t have believed you.

What is an abortion doula? An abortion doula, like a regular birth doula, accompanies people through the process of having an abortion. They help advocate for their client, answer questions, coordinate logistics and resources, and provide comfort and support. Hannah Matthews uses her firsthand experience as an abortion doula to explore people’s experiences with abortion in her first book, You or Someone You Love.

I loved Matthews’ book because it didn’t shy away from the complexities of abortion — the variety of ways abortion can look and feel and the varied reasons people might want or need an abortion. Matthews allows room for these complexities and makes it clear that people are allowed to feel all sorts of ways about their abortions — relief, grief, joy, sadness, apathy, regret, freedom — abortion as a big deal or not a big deal at all.

And Matthews explores the ways people’s experience with abortion is shaped by their identity. She takes us on a journey in her book. What abortion is like as an indigenous person, a person of color, a disabled or chronically ill person, as someone who is already a parent, as someone who desperately wants to be a parent. Again, her book presents a mosaic of experiences with abortion, all unique and beautiful and complex in their own way.

But what isn’t complex about her book is how compellingly it makes the case that abortion should be a legal and safe option for people. Again, it should be legal and safe for all sorts of reasons — the reasons people want or need abortions are as complex and unique as people themselves. Her chapter titles reflect these many motivations and varied journeys — “Abortion is Survival,” “Abortion is Care,” “Abortion is Parenthood,” “Abortion is Pain,” “Abortion is a Holy Blessing,” and more.

Matthews wrote the book in 2022, in the lead up to and aftermath of the Supreme Court’s ruling that overturned Roe v. Wade. Shaped by the many threats against reproductive rights, her book sheds light on the human toll of banning abortion, the ways banning abortion diminishes the dignity and humanity of people, violates their rights, identity, and religious freedom.

It’s a book that I’m happy to have an open heart and mind to read now in a way I couldn’t have ten years ago. Given the ongoing trends toward greater restrictions on abortion, it’s one that I hope others might be curious to approach as well with an open heart and mind.

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