I was reading a couple weeks ago about the “U-Bend Theory of Life,” an idea initially published back in 2010 in an article in The Economist.

In a nutshell, the U-Bend Theory says that people in early adulthood tend to be happy overall, and that people in their 50s and older also tend to be happy, but that in between there’s a dip into unhappiness and discontent that reaches its lifetime low around the age-range of 46-48. 

As a woman whose 46^th birthday will arrive this summer, my interest was piqued.

That article asserts:

Life is not a long slow decline from sunlit uplands towards the valley of death. It is, rather, a U-bend.

When people start out on adult life, they are, on average, pretty cheerful. Things go downhill from youth to middle age until they reach a nadir commonly known as the mid-life crisis. So far, so familiar. The surprising part happens after that. Although as people move towards old age they lose things they treasure—vitality, mental sharpness and looks—they also gain what people spend their lives pursuing: happiness.

Now, anything with as expansive a title as a “Theory of Life” is bound to get some pushback. You can read about challenges to the model in the National Library of Medicine, or in a number of journal articles by psychologists. And given the staggering amount of change that has happened in the world since 2010, it could even be argued that the generational assumptions of the U-Bend Theory don’t apply as neatly as they might have 16 years ago.

At the same time, the description of the low time resonates, at least it does with this nearly-46-year-old. Kids are reaching college age, with the expenses, stress, and emotional support that this demands of us as parents. Speaking of parents, our own are getting older: health concerns, living arrangements, and worries about limited remaining time with them weigh heavily. Professionally, we reach a point in our late 40s where we come to terms with the truth that some of the career goals we may have had just aren’t going to come to fruition. And don’t even get me started on perimenopause…

I was reading about this U-Bend Theory during some of the literal darkest days of the year. December and January in Canada are an annual U-Bend of their own in so many ways. Even where I am, in the south of the country, around the Winter Solstice we only see eight hours of daylight, and the further north you go, the more briefly that winter sun appears. Seasonal Affective Disorder is a real thing.

Adding to the mental and emotional U-Bend, this past Friday, January 16, is sometimes referred to as “Quitter’s Day,” because it’s the date by which most new year’s resolutions have been abandoned. Yesterday, Monday, January 19, is called “Blue Monday,” with the dubious distinction of being labelled the single most depressing day of the year for many people.

Here we sit in the U-Bend of the year, and goodness knows the news cycle gives us absolutely no respite.

Many of the passages about hope in the Bible also include words like patience, perseverance, and waiting. These can sometimes seem like passive words, but anyone who has spent any time treading water knows how much focus and energy it takes to sustain. Hope is tiring because it is an energetic, active virtue. After a while, we find ourselves crying out, “How long? How long, O Lord?”

And yet. Slowly but surely, the days are getting longer. 

There are growing pains, but the kids are gaining independence and autonomy.

The parents are getting good health care when sudden crises arise.

There are still fulfilling steps ahead in my career, and actions I can take to realize them.

Protests against injustice are getting louder.

The light persists, and the light is coming. 

Maybe you had an ambitious new year’s resolution that you lost on Quitter’s Day (or before!). Or you’re feeling that Blue Monday darkness lingering. Maybe, like me, you find yourself in the U-Bend of life. Maybe you’re watching the news and honestly wondering if we’re in the U-Bend of humanity. Maybe the truest thing you can pray right now is, “How long?!?” I hear that.

When we’re able, let’s try adding on some words of hope to our lament, and see how it feels to look even just a little further ahead from the bottom of the U-Bend. This brings to mind one of the most heartrendingly relatable cries to Jesus that we have recorded in our scriptures: a desperate father, perhaps at the bottom of his own life’s U-Bend, pleading, “I believe! Help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)

At the very least, know that you are not sojourning through the hopelessness of the U-Bend alone. For this, we have one another. We can encourage each other with our shared experiences, and those climbing up the other side of the U-Bend can call out to us at the very bottom that it gets better ahead. A friend posted this lovely little poem yesterday by William Bronk that does just that:

A LONG TWO WAY

There is a going down into the dark
but, getting there, we turn around, come back.
The solstice comes before the winter comes.
It isn’t winter.  Only slowly spring.

Also, for this, we have Jesus. As Paul said in Romans 15:13, may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. 

It gets brighter from here.

Header photo by Michael Pointner on Unsplash